The Petition

["The Aussie Icon" Croc]

(The scene opens up backstage with Croc walking the hallways with a clipboard in his hand. He has a cocky smirk on his face as he points at random members of the IWF staff in an insincere attempt to remain close to the staff. Suddenly, Croc is approached from behind by Sarah Maines, the IWF backstage interviewer, for some questions)


(MAINES)
Excuse me Croc. Do you have time for a few questions?


(Croc rolls his eyes but continues walking)


(CROC)
Can’t you see I am busy Sonnier?


(Croc turns around and to his surprise he does not see Chris Sonnier, but instead sees the beautiful Sarah Maines)


(CROC)
Well hello there.


(MAINES)
Croc I just want to ask you a few questions.


(Croc looks Maines up and down and the smug smirk on his face extends, as most likely does another part of his anatomy)


(CROC)
A few questions? Oh you can ask as many as you like... I am sorry I didn’t catch your name.


(MAINES)
I am sorry. My name is Sarah Maines.


(Croc nods and gives her a wink)


(CROC)
In my country, the name Sarah is given only to the most beautiful of people.


(MAINES)
Really?


(CROC)
Well no, but I am sure it would be the case if you made your way down under.


(Sarah blushes a little bit but composes herself to start the interview)


(MAINES)
In just under a fortnight, you will face Donzig, a man who you have had many wars with in the past, for the chance to be crowned the first ever IWF World Champion. What are your thoughts leading up to this match?


(CROC)
Well it is quite simple. It will be an honour for the IWF to have me as its first champion. The new regime, lead by my close friend, the Ringmaster, has informed me that I am indeed the man they desire to be the face of this company. You would have to agree with them, wouldn’t you love to see this beautiful face every morning when you come to work?


(Maines smiles as Croc continues)


(CROC)
But Ringmaster has informed me that besides my request of being appointed the first ever champion of the IWF, I have to defeat someone for the title. Now whilst I don’t totally agree with this logic, selecting the incompetent Donzig as the opponent that I have to go through… Well it is pretty much the same as if Ringmaster just handed me the title.


(Croc smirks)


(MAINES)
So you have no problems with the fact that out of the last three matches, Donzig has defeated you 2 out of the 3 times?


(CROC)
If I had a problem with it, I would have brought it up myself… But instead Donzig mentions it every second sentence. Why? Because he is clinging to the past victories… Do you hear me going out there and telling the world that last time we fought, I defeated him in the most brutal of all of our wars?


(MAINES)
Well I have heard you say that before.


(CROC)
But that is not the point… I am not saying it now, because I don’t live in the past. I could go out there and rattle off all of my glorious title wins and victories over the likes of Sheldon Reese, Hardcore Fred, Chris O’Neal and Timmy Draven and others but I do not. Why? Because I live in the now… I am the man of the now and right now it does not matter if Donzig has beaten me 2 out of the last 3 times we have met. Why? Because this isn’t a god damn Meatloaf song… No right now, the only thing that matters is that it is inevitable that I am going to become the IWF World Champion…


(MAINES)
Well then what about this Monday night at Revolution when you team up with Chris James to fight Donzig and Alexis Morningstar, a man who you also have some unfinished business with. What are your plans for this Monday night?


(CROC)
Now giving away my plans wouldn’t be the smart thing to do now would it?


(MAINES)
I guess not


(CROC)
But I will tell you this… I have the odds stacked against me in this match. This match is pretty much a handicapped match. Why? Because Chris James runs his mouth as much as a main event superstar, but backs it up with the talent of a curtain jerker. That is why the match between Alexis and him at New Beginnings will be so hotly contested… If it was a talking match, then it would be a hotly contested match up, but seeing as it is a wrestling match, it will be another dull curtain jerker as people go to get their valuable Croc merchandise.


(Croc looks at the camera and points to his black “Croc: AI” shirt that he is wearing)


(CROC)
But as for Donzig… Well I am not even going to give him a taste of what he will get at New Beginnings. Why? Because besides it being an over used wrestling cliché, I am going to wait until New Beginnings to unleash my hell and fury upon him. But even with me hiding all my tricks and tactics, on Monday night, my B game will still be too much for Donzig to handle. Why? Because Donzig cannot beat me now. Why? Because I have the momentum leading into New Beginnings… And I plan on continuing that momentum right through Revolution.


(MAINES)
That sounds great. But what is this clipboard you are holding?


(CROC)
Ah I am glad you asked Sarah. This is the petition I was talking about. I am going to hang this on the wall right here so IWF staff members and my fellow wrestlers can sign it and pledge their support the Ringmaster changing the main event for New Beginnings from the 2 out of 3 falls match to a ceremony where he appoints me as the inaugural IWF World Champion and hands the championship belt to me.


(MAINES)
Do you think anyone is actually going to sign it?


(CROC)
Oh I am positive that everyone will sign it. Why? Because it is just a smart business idea to go with the ceremony. People love a ceremony and they love me being champion… One plus one equals too right this is an awesome Croc idea!


(Croc hangs up the petition and looks around for someone to be the first to sign it. However there is no one around. Croc looks at Maines)


(CROC)
I will just leave this pen here for them.


(Croc then puts his arm around Maines shoulders and walks with her)


(CROC)
Now Sarah have you put any thought into the idea of being my exclusive interviewer?


(Scene fades out with Croc continuing to walk with Maines)

["The Aussie Icon" Croc]

(A few hours later, Croc returns to the scene where he has hung up his petition. Croc makes his way towards the petition that is hanging on the wall with an extremely cocky swagger. His cockiness soon turns to rage as the camera zooms in on the petition and reveals someone has drawn a massive penis on the petition and no one has signed the petition)


(CROC)
Oh this is just not funny!


(Croc rips down the page with the penis on it)


(CROC)
Who is responsible for this childish garbage?


(Croc looks around. Most of the people around him are IWF staff members. Most of them ignore him but most have smirks on their faces as Croc tries to command respect)


(CROC)
I am an EXTREMELY important person around here and I demand someone answer me NOW!


(Chris Sonnier approaches Croc and looks as if he is going to say something. Croc looks at him and rolls his eyes)


(CROC)
I demand someone OTHER than Chris Sonnier answer me!


(Sonnier drops his head and walks off)


(CROC)
Fine than I will investigate who maliciously damaged this important petition myself!


(Croc turns around and reaches for the pen that he left with the petition earlier)


(CROC)
Who stole my pen?


(Croc looks horrified that his pen was stolen)


(CROC)
Has the IWF just hired a bunch of criminals to work here? Am I surrounded by criminals?


(Croc looks around. Again he is ignored by the majority of people)


(CROC)
This is a total outrage!


(Croc shakes his head. His shoulders slump and his head drops)


(CROC)
I don’t know how, but I just know Ripper had something to do with this!


(Croc walks off seemingly a defeated man)

["The Aussie Icon" Croc]

(The scene opens up inside the Ringmaster’s office. He is sitting down at his expensive mahogany desk writing some things on a variety of different papers. Suddenly the sound of the door opening is heard and this causes Ringmaster to look up)


(RINGMASTER)
Have you ever heard of knocking?


(The camera pans around and shows Croc standing at the other side of the desk. Croc looks over his shoulder obviously thinking Ringmaster is talking to someone else)


(CROC)
I thought there was an open door policy here.


(RINGMASTER)
When did I ever say that?


(CROC)
You didn’t need to… You and I go way back so I know you are ever so pleased to see me. Think of my arrivals as a nice surprise that makes your day.


(Ringmaster rolls his eyes and shakes his head)


(RINGMASTER)
What do you want Croc?


(CROC)
Hold up a minute Ring man… We need to catch up. I haven’t seen you in ages?


(RINGMASTER)
You spoke to me yesterday.


(CROC)
Must have been someone else


(RINGMASTER)
No it was you. You came in here winging about the main event of New Beginnings.


(CROC)
Oh great so you have changed your mind.


(RINGMASTER)
No I haven’t. The match has been set between you and Donzig. I am not going to change it to a ceremony where I hand you the title.


(CROC)
Why not?


(RINGMASTER)
Because do you really want to be known as the champion who was handed the title?


(CROC)
Yes


(RINGMASTER)
Well I want you to earn it. You only have to beat Donzig and knowing you Croc, that shouldn’t be too hard for you.


(CROC)
I know it is not going to be that hard. That is the problem… Everyone knows it is going to be the biggest cakewalk for me. Therefore no one is going to cough up their hard earned earnings to watch a match they already know the result for. That is like watching a sporting match after your stupid friend blurted out the score. Everyone knows it is inevitable that I will win at New Beginnings. However, the people would cough up their money to watch a massive and elaborate ceremony involving me being handed the World Title and then I deliver my victory speech. Who wouldn’t pay money to see banners, streamers, balloons, fireworks and on top of all that, a chance to hear me talk.


(RINGMASTER)
I am not going to change it. The people want to see this match!


(CROC)
That is where you are wrong my old friend. If you haven’t heard, I placed a petition in the back and it has been filled with signatures.


(Croc throws the clipboard onto Ringmaster’s desk. Ringmaster flicks through the pages and pages of signatures and looks at them in disbelief)


(RINGMASTER)
I thought no one was signing your stupid petition. Didn’t someone draw a big dick on it?


(Croc bites his lip, obviously still upset at the graffiti that took place)


(CROC)
Yes but that is something I will bring up with you later… There are over 1,000 signatures on that petition and that is only the people who are employed by the IWF… If I opened that petition to the public, there would be millions upon millions of signatures…


(RINGMASTER)
Impressive I must say.


(CROC)
So the main event is going to be changed?


(Ringmaster shrugs and continues to look at the signatures)


(RINGMASTER)
You said this was just IWF employees?


(CROC)
Yes that is correct.


(RINGMASTER)
Then who the hell is Tom Jenson? I don’t know a Tom Jenson.


(CROC)
Oh good old Tommy Jenson… How could you not know him? Everyone loves Tommy. He is a really special guy and is the fabric that makes the IWF great.


(RINGMASTER)
Croc I employed everyone and I can assure you that we do not have a Tom Jenson on our books.


(CROC)
Oh did you say Jenson? It is meant to be Tom Janson. Old Tommy’s handwriting isn’t that good these days?


(RINGMASTER)
We don’t have a Tom Janson either.


(CROC)
Tom Jellson?


(RINGMASTER)
No.


(CROC)
Tom Smith?


(RINGMASTER)
No.


(CROC)
Tom Brady?


(RINGMASTER)
Croc you have signed all of these signatures yourself haven’t you?


(Croc looks offended)


(CROC)
I most certainly have not.


(RINGMASTER)
Then why the hell do you have Donzig’s name on this list?


(Croc pauses to think)


(CROC)
Well it is obvious. Donzig obviously knows he doesn’t stand a chance of beating me, so he has thrown in the towel and thrown his support behind the Croc Celebration Ceremony… It’s the Triple C… Who wouldn’t want to see it?


(The Ringmaster raises an eyebrow at Croc. He looks at the list some more and then just shakes his head)


(RINGMASTER)
OK now I know you have made this all up… You even have my name on the list. I know I didn’t sign your stupid petition.


(CROC)
Well you are getting pretty old these day Ringmaster… Maybe you just forgot you did it. Deep down inside you know you want to see the Triple C…


(RINGMASTER)
The match stands Croc… You are fighting Donzig at New Beginnings and that is final!


(Croc curses and looks like he is about to throw a tantrum)


(CROC)
This is SO unfair!


(Croc storms off in anger as the screen fades to black)