Post by Anthony Jordan on Apr 15, 2008 20:33:26 GMT -5
*An epic five-star classic between Kodiak Jones and Johnny London is underway in the ring as IWF is back on the air. Kodiak Jones looks to be the superior wrestler as his size is dominating the smaller London. Jones is working toward finishing off London until the crowd erupts in cheers as "The Role Model" Anthony Jordan runs down the ramp clad in his untucked, frowning face "FunisherTM" T-shirt and khakis. He is clearly in "Funisher" mode as he jumps up on the apron garnering the referee's attention.*
Cross: "Looks like Anthony Jordan takes exception to officially tying Kodiak Jones at Revolution."
Ventura: "If he hadn't cheated, he might have won. It's his own fault!"
Cross: "Like him or not, Jordan is a victim of the Ringmaster's lack of professionalism!"
*As the "Funisher" keeps the referee's attention, a large, unsightly woman crawls over the crowd barricade (by unsightly, I mean she puts the fat chick in Good Luck Chuck to shame). Kodiak Jones doesn't notice her as he's yelling at Jordan to get away from the ring. The ghastly woman crawls under the bottom rope (pushing it up a foot or two as it has to bend up due to her massive girth).*
Ventura: "Look out, Kodiak!"
*The woman creeps up on the unsuspecting Jones. She spins him around and plants a sloppy, slobber-filled kiss on the Alaskan! The crowd watches on in disgust as Jordan gives his goofy grin. The large woman takes Kodiak down to the mat as he is shocked, disgusted, and overpowered. The woman finally breaks the embrace and rolls away. Johnny London, who has healed in the mean time, ascends to the top rope and hits a big splash on Jones. Jordan hops off the apron, and the referee makes the three count to the delight of the fans over IWF's favorite hard luck superstar.*
Ventura: "Kodiak Jones got robbed!"
Cross: "No, he got funished!"
Ventura: "That better not catch on. It sounds stupid."
*Not wanting to mix it up with his New Beginnings opponent, London rolls out of the ring and keeps his distance from Jordan. "The Funisher" climbs up the stairs and enters the ring. He demands and receives a microphone as London's theme music is quickly cut off. Kodiak Jones is getting up as Jordan goes to speak. Jordan will have none of this, drops the microphone, and pulls Jones' head back under his arm. Jordan grabs Jones by the side of his pants and lifts him up. As Jones is airborne, Jordan spins and sends his right elbow into Jones' throat uses it to take Jones back down to the mat with the Jordan Twist. Jordan rolls out of the ring and lifts up the covering. He pulls out a steel chair to loud cheers.*
Cross: "He's certainly more aggressive as 'The Funisher.'"
*Jordan slides under the bottom rope with the chair. After he stands up, Jordan bends over and picks up his microphone and puts it in his khakis' pocket. Jordan then unfolds the chair and puts it over Jones with the bar that connects the front legs placed over Jones' throat. Jordan pulls out the microphone from his pocket and sits in the chair to put pressure on Jones' throat, but just enough to hold him there, not enough to choke him.*
Ventura: "He seems pretty big when he had help. He couldn't take on Kodiak Jones on his own!"
*Jordan starts speaking in his gruff Bale Batman voice.*
Jordan: "How is it going, Kodiak? Been enjoying your ill-gotten gains?"
*Jordan lowers the microphone, but Jones can only grunt.*
Jordan: "Letting stardom go to your head, huh? Think that tying me means you can act all high and mighty to myself and Kirsten?"
Cross: "I wonder how Donzig feels about his girl being used for this. By 'girl,' I mean the chair, not the she-beast from earlier."
Ventura: "Nice job of covering your ass there."
*"The Funisher" pulls Jones' head up by his beard and leans in.*
Jordan: "I figured beating you up would not be a suitable funishment seeing as I did it a couple of days ago. I decided on humilation. I have to know something. Which was worse? Losing to Johnny London or an intimate moment between you and your girlfriend getting caught on live television?"
*Jones again can't answer as Jordan gives his goofy grin.*
Ventura: "Jones wouldn't date that!"
Cross: "There aren't many options in Alaska."
Jordan: "Consider yourself funished."
*Jordan sits up and takes the chair off Jones' neck. Jones quickly gets up as Jordan stands with the chair resting against his shoulder and his head cocked to the side in an arrogant display that tells Jones would happen should he attempt retribution. Jones sees that, wipes his mouth, and exits the ring. Once Jones is up the ramp, Jordan drops the chair on the mat and takes off his "Funisher" T-shirt and shoves it in his pocket. He is now sporting a classic USCW "Jordan Seven" T-shirt. He goes back to speaking normally.*
Jordan: "That was a good try, Ringmaster, but it will take a little more than that. Everyone knows I beat Kodiak, so I do not need it in the record books. I kicked his butt all over the arena, then funished him. I can officially cross him off my list and move on. And I will be moving on to New Beginnings when I will take on the hottest superstar in IWF, Johnny London!"
*London gets cheered loudly by the local crowd.*
Jordan: "Having beaten London numerous times, I am not overly concerned about our match. I hope you know that it is not personal unless you make it personal. The Ringmaster wants to screw me over in contract negotiations, then everyone becomes a victim. If you play nice and fair, I pin you, and that is that. If you pull a Kodiak, I just might have to put this T-shirt back on!"
*Jordan motions to his "Funisher" T-shirt, which gets a loud reaction from the crowd who has taken a liking to the "Funisher."*
Cross: "Given his trouble with the Ringmaster and debut of 'The Funisher,' Jordan has endeared himself to the crowd."
Ventura: "Yeah, I hate it, too."
Jordan: "Oh, and Lucas, if you try your little trick you used at Revolution again, I got a friend ready to take you down. I think you might know who he is."
*Jordan paces around the ring.*
Jordan: "He is not the biggest guy, but he has one nasty temper. His social and political opinions offend many who hear them. Also, something you may want to pay attention to, Ringmaster, he really, really, really does not like authority figures."
*The crowd explodes knowing who it is and even starts a small "Industry" chant as Jordan gives his goofy grin.*
Jordan: "Everyone in IWF will fall before my wrath and might until I get what I want. If any of you have a problem with that, here I am."
*Jordan holds his arms out to see if anyone will answer his challenge.*
Cross: "Looks like Anthony Jordan takes exception to officially tying Kodiak Jones at Revolution."
Ventura: "If he hadn't cheated, he might have won. It's his own fault!"
Cross: "Like him or not, Jordan is a victim of the Ringmaster's lack of professionalism!"
*As the "Funisher" keeps the referee's attention, a large, unsightly woman crawls over the crowd barricade (by unsightly, I mean she puts the fat chick in Good Luck Chuck to shame). Kodiak Jones doesn't notice her as he's yelling at Jordan to get away from the ring. The ghastly woman crawls under the bottom rope (pushing it up a foot or two as it has to bend up due to her massive girth).*
Ventura: "Look out, Kodiak!"
*The woman creeps up on the unsuspecting Jones. She spins him around and plants a sloppy, slobber-filled kiss on the Alaskan! The crowd watches on in disgust as Jordan gives his goofy grin. The large woman takes Kodiak down to the mat as he is shocked, disgusted, and overpowered. The woman finally breaks the embrace and rolls away. Johnny London, who has healed in the mean time, ascends to the top rope and hits a big splash on Jones. Jordan hops off the apron, and the referee makes the three count to the delight of the fans over IWF's favorite hard luck superstar.*
Ventura: "Kodiak Jones got robbed!"
Cross: "No, he got funished!"
Ventura: "That better not catch on. It sounds stupid."
*Not wanting to mix it up with his New Beginnings opponent, London rolls out of the ring and keeps his distance from Jordan. "The Funisher" climbs up the stairs and enters the ring. He demands and receives a microphone as London's theme music is quickly cut off. Kodiak Jones is getting up as Jordan goes to speak. Jordan will have none of this, drops the microphone, and pulls Jones' head back under his arm. Jordan grabs Jones by the side of his pants and lifts him up. As Jones is airborne, Jordan spins and sends his right elbow into Jones' throat uses it to take Jones back down to the mat with the Jordan Twist. Jordan rolls out of the ring and lifts up the covering. He pulls out a steel chair to loud cheers.*
Cross: "He's certainly more aggressive as 'The Funisher.'"
*Jordan slides under the bottom rope with the chair. After he stands up, Jordan bends over and picks up his microphone and puts it in his khakis' pocket. Jordan then unfolds the chair and puts it over Jones with the bar that connects the front legs placed over Jones' throat. Jordan pulls out the microphone from his pocket and sits in the chair to put pressure on Jones' throat, but just enough to hold him there, not enough to choke him.*
Ventura: "He seems pretty big when he had help. He couldn't take on Kodiak Jones on his own!"
*Jordan starts speaking in his gruff Bale Batman voice.*
Jordan: "How is it going, Kodiak? Been enjoying your ill-gotten gains?"
*Jordan lowers the microphone, but Jones can only grunt.*
Jordan: "Letting stardom go to your head, huh? Think that tying me means you can act all high and mighty to myself and Kirsten?"
Cross: "I wonder how Donzig feels about his girl being used for this. By 'girl,' I mean the chair, not the she-beast from earlier."
Ventura: "Nice job of covering your ass there."
*"The Funisher" pulls Jones' head up by his beard and leans in.*
Jordan: "I figured beating you up would not be a suitable funishment seeing as I did it a couple of days ago. I decided on humilation. I have to know something. Which was worse? Losing to Johnny London or an intimate moment between you and your girlfriend getting caught on live television?"
*Jones again can't answer as Jordan gives his goofy grin.*
Ventura: "Jones wouldn't date that!"
Cross: "There aren't many options in Alaska."
Jordan: "Consider yourself funished."
*Jordan sits up and takes the chair off Jones' neck. Jones quickly gets up as Jordan stands with the chair resting against his shoulder and his head cocked to the side in an arrogant display that tells Jones would happen should he attempt retribution. Jones sees that, wipes his mouth, and exits the ring. Once Jones is up the ramp, Jordan drops the chair on the mat and takes off his "Funisher" T-shirt and shoves it in his pocket. He is now sporting a classic USCW "Jordan Seven" T-shirt. He goes back to speaking normally.*
Jordan: "That was a good try, Ringmaster, but it will take a little more than that. Everyone knows I beat Kodiak, so I do not need it in the record books. I kicked his butt all over the arena, then funished him. I can officially cross him off my list and move on. And I will be moving on to New Beginnings when I will take on the hottest superstar in IWF, Johnny London!"
*London gets cheered loudly by the local crowd.*
Jordan: "Having beaten London numerous times, I am not overly concerned about our match. I hope you know that it is not personal unless you make it personal. The Ringmaster wants to screw me over in contract negotiations, then everyone becomes a victim. If you play nice and fair, I pin you, and that is that. If you pull a Kodiak, I just might have to put this T-shirt back on!"
*Jordan motions to his "Funisher" T-shirt, which gets a loud reaction from the crowd who has taken a liking to the "Funisher."*
Cross: "Given his trouble with the Ringmaster and debut of 'The Funisher,' Jordan has endeared himself to the crowd."
Ventura: "Yeah, I hate it, too."
Jordan: "Oh, and Lucas, if you try your little trick you used at Revolution again, I got a friend ready to take you down. I think you might know who he is."
*Jordan paces around the ring.*
Jordan: "He is not the biggest guy, but he has one nasty temper. His social and political opinions offend many who hear them. Also, something you may want to pay attention to, Ringmaster, he really, really, really does not like authority figures."
*The crowd explodes knowing who it is and even starts a small "Industry" chant as Jordan gives his goofy grin.*
Jordan: "Everyone in IWF will fall before my wrath and might until I get what I want. If any of you have a problem with that, here I am."
*Jordan holds his arms out to see if anyone will answer his challenge.*
