Urban Assault?! WTF!?

[Mikkey w/ Max Jewel]

*****Backstage you see Chris Sonnier*****


Chris: Ladies and Gentlemen, I have with me the challanger to Wife Beater and the TV Title....Mikkey and as always, Max Jewel.



*****The camera zooms out and you see both men standing next to Chris Sonnier. Max with his diamond topped cane and Mikkey with his hair pulled back slick and his "Astonishing" T-Shirt on.*****



Chris: Mikkey, Max, Thanks for the time here. How do you feel about working double this Monday?!


Max Jewel: How do we feel?! I'll tell you how we feel. We feel great! GREAT about it! Ya see, not only is Mikkey going to take the Television Title from Wife Beater, he's also going to step into the ring and be partners with the next IWF World CHampion. With the best ever ICW Champion, Best Ever BWA Champion....Christ he was the best ever EWCW Champion back in the day! CROC!


*****THe fans can be heard booing as Chris starts to ask more questions.*****



Chris: Yeah, how about the passion you seem to have to let everyone know Croc should be the champion and not Donzig? What's up with that Max?!



Max Jewel: What's up with that is this... Donzig is a wasted champion. He is crass, sardonic, bitter and down right aweful role model. He is the reason you look out at the fans and see a bunch of white trash, fat, out of shape, ignorant, bitter assholes.....Because they actually look up to this guy. If only they would do the right thing and look up to Croc and Mikkey. Then....THEN, they MIGHT have the chance to live a fulfilled life of pleasure and joy. Face it Chris, Croc is at the top of his game and has been since....well, I'm sure since the first day he set foot in the ring. My passion for Croc is a passion for pure talent. A passion for Mikkey to strive to be the top dog. And he will do so by beating Wife Beater and taking the Television Title



Chris Sonnier: What do you think about Urban Assault?


Max Jewel: Jackasses. Plain and simple. You have a bitter sardonic jackass and a trailor park piece of crap jackass. And they are on the same team?! HA! They stand no chance against an "Astonishing Superstar" and a "True Icon" in Mikkey and Croc. A team that will tear this place up. A team that will take the wrestling world back to it's pure roots of talent, and shake the entire foundation of the IWF. And after that is done, Mikkey will step in that ring a second time and wealk out with the Television Championship. Plain and Simple.


*****Mikkey leans forward as Chris Sonnier stares over Max Jewel's shoulder.*****


Mikkey: This Monday marks a new era for the IWF and the wrestling world. 'The Astonishing Icons' will rock the socks off of those douche bags....and then I'll take the television title and hold it as my own...once and for all. Donzig and Croc can handle their own battle about the world title later....and by later I mean whenever Croc feels like taking the god damned thing. This monday, I'm going to take my fist and shove it down Wife Beater's fuckin throat!



*****Max Jewel almost elbows Mikkey in the ribs after dropping the 'f' bomb yet again. But he is learnging to deal with it and places his hand into his jacket pocket instead.*****


Chris Sonnier: And how do you plan to take the Television Title?


Max Jewel: Talent. With pure Astonishing Talent that will put these fans in their place and realize this urban assault game is nothing more than that. They will realize their heroes are a joke, just like their own burger flipping jobs!


*****With that, Max Jewel heads off the screen. Mikkey eyes Chris up and down, smirks, then shoves him in the shoulder before brushing past him. Chris shakes his head and watches then leave as the scene fades*****

[Wife Beater]

**Right after their promo interview with Chris Sonnier the camera shows Wife Beater in the dressing room. The crowd is heard cheering loudly in the background and Wife Beater shuts off the television screen. He chuckles slightly for a moment and then starts to shake his head.**

WIFE BEATER:
These two will really never learn will they?

**You start to wonder who exactly Wife Beater is speaking to but just then Donzig comes walking in frame with the IWF World Title draped over his right shoulder. He has a cigar in his mouth. He bites down on it and takes a puff. Smoke billows out like a chimney stack.**

DONZIG:
It's because they are fucking morons.

**Wife Beater nods his head in agreement before ducking out of frame for a moment. He then reappears with two beers in his hand. He tosses one up in the air and Donzig swipes it from mid air. Wife Beater cracks his open and takes a swig.**

WIFE BEATER:
The funny thing about that whole situation is that Max Jewel talks so goddamn much. The man seriously never knows when to shut the hell up. He babels on and on and on about the stupidest things I have ever heard. Eating Croc's ass this, sucking on a fat one that, and all in the while he even speaks for Mikkey most of the time.

**Donzig grunts, takes a big gulp of his beer, then shrugs.**

WIFE BEATER:
I mean if Mikkey weren't busy blowing Max then maybe he would be able to get a few words in from time to time. I mean he let's Max say he is going to win the TV title from me but that really isn't going to happen and he knows it. I have had much success in this business and I have faced douche bags like this before. You let them suck each other off until completion and then go in there and beat the shit out of them. It's really plain and simple.

**Donzig adjusts the Title on his should and then takes another swig of his beer.**

WIFE BEATER:
Well all I know if that by the end of all of this the Urban Assault is going to be holding all of the gold in the IWF and no one can do a goddamn thing about it.....right Don?

DONZIG:
Fuck yeah, I can cheers to that.

**Donzig raises his beer into the air and Beater follows. The slam their cans together and then simultaneously chug their beers. The scene fades to black.**