Mister Britain...UNMASKED AND FUNISHED!

[Anthony Jordan]

*The scene opens with Whitey Ford leaning against a wall holding an assault rifle. He is dressed like a commando complete with face paint, a bandana, and some rope wound up in a circle attached to his waist. He peers around the corner before motioning for someone to join him. "The Role Model" appears on the screen in his frowning face T-shirt, which tells that he is in "Funisher" mode. He is also wearing jeans, which really shows how different he is as the Funisher. He and Whitey run up to a Coke machine (well, Whitey hobbles at a rapid rate due to his knee brace). Whitey rests his gun against the wall and reaches into his pants' pocket. He pulls out a box of cigarettes and a lighter. He pulls out a cigarette and lights it before holding out the box to the Funisher. The Funisher takes a cigarette and tosses it out into the hallway before covering his ears. After a few seconds, he frowns, turns to Whitey, and speaks in his Bale-esque Batman voice.*

Funisher: "I thought they were supposed to explode."

Ford: "Cigarettes don't do that. I told you that first three times you asked me!"

Funisher: "Dang it."

*Ford takes a drag off his cigarette. The Funisher puts his hand over Whitey's mouth before he exhales and points in front of the Coke machine. Whitey nods and blows smoke in that direction.*

Funisher: "No infrared sensors. Their arrogance will be their undoing."

*Ford takes one more drag from his cigarette and tosses it away before picking up his assault rifle. The Funisher takes the lead. Whitey points the rifle at his fellow USCW-ger and shoots him in the back. A giant yellow mark is on Jordan's back as he screams and speaks in a high-pitch, whiny voice.*

Jordan: "Darn it, Whitey, why did you do that?!"

Ford: "That was the only condition Ripper had for me borrowing this."

Jordan: "That really hurts!"

Ford: "Gonna cry?"

Jordan: "Later, probably!"

Ford: "So you gonna tell me what this mission is all about?"

Jordan: "Why would you care? You get to dress up and shoot people. Do you really need a reason?"

*Ford thinks about it and gives his shit-eating grin.*

Ford: "Nope, but you should still tell me."

Jordan: "Mister Britain has been a thorn in my side for almost a month now. We are going to capture him and unmask him for his Funishment!"

Ford: "OOO OOOOOOO!"

*Whitey sets his gun on the ground then raises his hand like a elementary school student complete with over-eagerness. Jordan sighs and points at Whitey.*

Ford: "After that can I wrap him up like a mummy, put him in a shopping cart, and shove him down the street?"

Jordan: "Once I know who he is, you can do what you want."

Ford: "Hee hee!"

*Whitey rubs his hands together as Jordan goes back to his Funisher voice.*

Funisher: "Time to move out!"

*As Whitey goes to pick his paintball assault rifle, a foot steps on the firearm. Ford looks up to see Jake Seven preventing him from getting his weapon.*

Ford: "Move, cunt stain!"

*Jordan turns around and uses his whiny voice again.*

Jordan: "I am waiting on you, jerk face!"

*Jordan now sees Jake Seven. Both men give each other a disgusted look.*

Seven: "Carrying around guns and associating with drug addicts, you should be ashamed of yourself."

*Ford tries to overpower Seven for the rifle, but Seven bends down and punches Whitey in his bad knee. Whitey falls back as Seven stands back on the rifle.*

Seven: "Once I bust you for this, the Ringmaster is bound to make me the official General Manager of IWF! I won't stop at this, though."

*Seven smiles.*

Seven: "I'll show the tape of this to the whole world! You'll be ruined as you're exposed for what you really are! You're no 'Role Model!'"

*Seven grins as the Funisher returns the expression.*

Funisher: "And you are no man!"

*Seven's confused for a second as the Funisher reaches behind his back and pulls out a pistol. He shoots Seven square in the groin as "The Sin City Superstar" falls to the ground in pain with a large blue paint mark on his crotch.*

Funisher: "Not anymore, anyway."

*The Funisher gives his goofy grin and jogs away. Whitey Ford stands back up on shaky legs and picks up his rifle. He points the rifle at Seven.*

Ford: "I know it was you, Fredo. You broke my heart."

*The camera view changes to show the Funisher down the hall as the rifle is heard firing. Whitey quickly hobbles up to his friend.*

Funisher: "Was that a famous quote?"

Ford: "Godfather."

Funisher: "Never watched it."

*Whitey shrugs.*

Ford: "It sounds like it'd make people think I'm smarter if I said it."

*Ford giggles.*

Ford: "Talk about giving Seven blue balls!"

*The Funisher frowns.*

Funisher: "Could not resist, could you?"

*The USCW-gers peer around the corner and see Mr. Britain talking to a stagehand. The Funisher and Ford nod at each other. They both dive into the hallway and start firing. Mr. Britian and the stagehand are sitting ducks. The paintballs hit them and knock them both down. Neither is moving much as they are in a lot of pain. The Funisher motions to Ford, and Whitey runs over to Mr. Britain and unclips the rope from his belt and ties up the wrestler. The Funisher walks up to the scene. The stagehand looks up in fear. The Funisher reaches into his pocket as the stagehand trembles and closes his eyes preparing for the worst. A wad of money hits him in the face and falls to the floor.*

Funisher: "You saw nothing!"

*The stagehand nods before grabbing the money and crawling away. With that business settled, the Funisher helps Whitey Ford lift up Mr. Britain against the wall.*

Funisher: "Now who are you?"

*Mr. Britain's masked is pulled off as the Funisher's and Whitey's jaws drop. The camera spins around to show a man with his face painted black with a white smile and looks to be wearing a bald cap that is painted black. The Funisher drifts back into his normal voice as he's shocked.*

Jordan: "That just is not right."

*Jordan shakes his head and returns to the Funisher.*

Funisher: "Time to wipe that smile off your face!"

*Before the USCW-gers can do any more, the Ringmaster appears at the far side of the hall with a compliment of policemen. Whitey reaches onto his belt and tosses something down the hall. The item hits the ground and a large cloud of smoke appears. The Funisher points his pistol at the light in the middle of the hall and shoots it out as he and Whitey are forced to flee.*

Funisher: "Another time, Mister Britain."