Tag Titles down. Onto the TV Title!

[Anthony Jordan]

*The crowd comes to life as Pearl Jam's "Even Flow" hits. "The Role Model" walks out onto the stage to a good-sized ovation. He gives some silly poses at the top of the ramp before walking down.*

Cross: "Team USCW has some momentum building. After a good showing at Payback, Anthony Jordan and Kid Kaos earned a win over Jake Seven and Mr. Britain at Revolution."

Ventura: "For all we know, those USCW rats could have put on of their friends under the mask of Mr. Britain and stolen a win. Mr. Britain is usually better than how we saw him Monday night."

Cross: "I think that really was Mr. Britain, whoever he was. He was just outclassed."

*Jordan hops up the stairs and enters the ring. He gives the Hulk Hogan "Cupped Ear" taunt before laughing at his own dorkiness and borrowing Jenny Stark's microphone.*

Cross: "So there is a cheesy line in the sand that he won't cross."

Ventura: "I didn't think anything was too lame for him."

*"Even Flow" cuts off as Jordan walks backwards to the middle of the ring.*

Jordan: "Team USCW looks more and more like the uncrowned Tag Team Champions over the powerhouse, Faction-representing team of Jake Seven and Mister Britain!"

*The crowd cheers the win.*

Jordan: "Jake Seven is a former CWA TVX Champion and a number one contender to the Undisputed World Title. The man has an impressive track record. As for Mister Britain, he could be anyone besides Seven, Kaos, or me. He could have been Croc or Michael Windsor,"

*The Faction receives loud boos.*

Jordan: "Donzig,"

*"The American Destroyer" receives a thunderous ovation.*

Jordan: "Sheldon Reese,"

*A surprisingly loud pop for "The Superstar."*

Jordan: "He could be the Rock, Ric Flair, Ripper, Chris O'Neal, Michael Bolton, or, dare I dream, Kelly Clarkson!"

*Jordan thinks about that last name for a second.*

Jordan: "Kelly, if it was you, baby, you know I would never hurt you. Maybe we can get together and talk about it over dinner? Have your people get in touch with mine. Maybe we can do a "Breakaway" remix?"

*Jordan gives a thumbs up and returns to business.*

Jordan: "But, for the sake of argument, let us assume that Mister Britain is the mean average of everyone I listed. That would make him........ooooooooooo......aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh..........Hulk Hogan!"

*The crowd laughs at the idea of Hogan being Mr. Britain.*

Jordan: "So Team USCW, more than likely, beat a team with a combined twelve World Titles over all the major federations. Who has Croc and Windsor beaten? The answer is no one with the potential history and resumes of Hulk Hogan and Jake Seven."

*The crowd enjoys the absurdity with some hearty laughs. Jordan looks around in confusion.*

Jordan: "What? They both have four-letter first names and five-letter last names. It has to be Hulk Hogan!"

Cross: "I don't think 'The Real American' would be Mr. Britain."

Ventura: "Hogan is desperate for money and attention these days. I wouldn't put it past him."

Cross: "Times aren't that bad for him."

Ventura: "Would you host American Gladiators?"

Cross: "God no!"

Jordan: "So while Team USCW has proven itself to be the best tag team in IWF, we now have an opportunity to acquire some singles gold as Mikkey will be defending his Television Title against Kid Kaos!"

*The crowd cheers the match-up.*

Jordan: "And while I could go on and on about how Kid Kaos will own a guy who cannot even spell his own name right; a Television Champion so grotesquely hideous that he should not even be shown on television, not even the Sci-Fi channel at three in the morning; a big, lumbering giant so slow that he lost a footrace to a glacier after the glacier spotted him a two-year head start; a man so dumb that even you people would look down on him..."

*That backhanded insult confuses the crowd, so they give a mixed reaction. Jordan stops and shrugs.*

Jordan: "I know you people would like to hear about me beating the Ringmaster on my birthday ten days from now, but believe me, we have time."

*The crowd cheers again. Jordan motions to the ramp.*

Jordan: "Anyway, instead of me telling you what will happen, how about hearing it from the horse's mouth? Ladies and gentlemen, your next Television Champion, KID KAOS!"


**What happens next?**

[Mikkey w/ Max Jewel]

*****Astonishing Panorama of the End Times plays over the arena. This catches Jordan off guard as the fans all boo the entrance of Mikkey and Max Jewel.****


Cross: Folks, I don't remember the last time there was someone hated as much as Mikkey and Max Jewel.

Ventura: Croc. Croc is much better at it. He gets these fan's blood to boil and they deserve to have it boil until their heads pop off.

Cross: You could argue Croc Jesse....

Ventura: I DID argue Croc!


****Mikkey and Max have made their way to the ring as they climb in. "Astonishing Panorama of the End Times" fades away as the booing fans begin to settle.*****


Max Jewel: What is this Jordan? Number six? seven? TEN?! How many times have you attempted to live in the past of your USCW days when you were actually good? How many times will you try and shove this bullshit down the throats of these imbeciles?


****This gets the fans riled up as Jordan mockingly begins to count with his fingers.****



Max Jewel: You fail to see Tony, that no one cares about your early days. No one cares that you USED TO BE good. You are like John Cena. You started out strong but, as years went by, you forgot how to actually wrestle. Now? now you want to try and revamp the USCW....YET AGAIN!? Pardon my language but, you are nothing but a pile of dog shit to us. You are at the level of these fans, in our eyes.



Cross: I cannot believe he compared Anthony Jordan to John Cena like that.

Ventura: I can! I'm tired of hearing about the USCW. If I cared, I'd waste my time watching the videos.


Max Jewel: Now we have to defend the title against Mr. Kaos. And you will be ringside. But let me tell you something Mr. Jordan. If you attempt anything, I'll be more than happy to shove my cane down your stinkin throat. Then, I'll let Jake Seven have his way with you. Like I actually need his help anyways. It won't be hard for Mikkey to beat Kid Kaos. A man who is not that. He infact, is a child...just like his name insists.


****"MIKKEY SUCKS...MIKKEY SUCKS...MIKKEY SUCKS" breaks out in the crowd. Anthony Jordan starts to chant along with them for a moment as Mikkey starts to stomp his feet. He jumps out of the ring and begins to yell at all of the fans to stop. Max calls Mikkey back to the ring. He slides in and his tossed the mic****


Mikkey: A child will be crushed on Monday. A Mikkey driver that will end all Mikkey drivers. An astonishing superstar against a piece of shit. A man versus a bitch. Mikkey vs the US....C...uh..X...D....FU. Whatever your letters are....my letters are T and V...as in the fuckin TV Champion!

Take that to the bank and smoke it

****Max Jewel looks puzzled as Mikkey mixed two sayings. Max takes the mic back but they are interupted****

[Kid Kaos]

Before Mikkey and Max can say anything further, Stricken booms through the P.A. system. Kid Kaos steps out onto the ramp to the typical mixed reaction.

Cross: "It looks like Kid Kaos is angry. I have the feeling this could get very ugly, very quickly."

Ventura: "Cross, anytime you're around it always gets very ugly."

Kaos wastes no time and storms down to the ring. He rolls in and snatches the mic from Max. Kaos gets face to face with Mikkey and stares him down, while a steady stream of cussing goes back and forth between the two men

Kaos: "You know, in some sick twisted little way, I could almost respect you Mikkey. I mean honestly take a look at you. You are a tough son of a bitch. You don't give two shits about the fans or the rules. I like that... however you got two strikes against you. The first is that everytime you open your mouth I realize how much of a fucking retard you are!"

The fans laugh as Mikkey's face grows red and he begins to boil with anger.

Ventura: "I've said it before and I will say it again. Kaos has no respect."

Cross: "Honestly, I don't think Kaos cares about giving or getting respect."

Kaos: "The second strike against you Mikkey. is having this jackass here as your manager."

Kaos points to Max Jewel, who in turn tries to puff out his chest and make himself look tough

Kaos: "I mean honestly what the fuck? You hav a manager named Max Jewel. With a name like that, he sounds like he belongs on the Bravo Channel. So which one of you is the pitcher and which one is the catcher? Oh wait I know, Mikkey, you have to be the one that likes it up the ass!"

Jordan falls to the mat laughing as Mikkey's face goes from being red to purple as his blood boils in his veins. Suddenly a disgusted look crosses Kid Kaos' face

Kaos: "Wait a minute, wait a minute. Hold on. You aren't gonna get turned on when we wrestle are you? I mean I am a sexy guy and you do like to grope sweaty men."

Kis Kaos shudders at the thought as the fans continue to laugh and cheer on Kaos.

Ventura: "I can't believe the Kid Kaos is going to try to run the name of our TV champ in the mud. This is terrible!"

Cross: "I don't know, Jordan, Kaos and the fans all seem to be enjoying the humiliation of Mikkey and Max."

Kaos: "Well the only thing that really matters, is that in the end you will be laying on the mat bloody and bruised... which is something I am sure you are used to, except this time it won't be from getting anally violated."

Max Jewel is now physically holding Mikkey back as nearly foams at the mouth with rage. Kaos lets loose his cocky smirk as he seems not the bit bothered by the enraged Mikkey.

Kaos: "I know you hate to part with the TV title, but I will show you some mercy and give you a brand new IWF title."|

The IWFtron comes to life with a picture of Mikkey. It shows him in a pink dress, with long blonde hair and high heels on.

Kaos: "From now on, everyone can refer to you as the TS or Transsexual Champion!"

Mikkey shoves Max out of the way and charges Kaos and slams him against the turnbuckle. Jordan grabs Mikkey, pulls him away and locks him in position for a Russian Leg Sweep. Kaos unloads with a stiff kick to Mikkey's face as Jordan slams Mikkey to the mat.

Ventura: "Get security out here, this is terrible!"

Cross: "What else could happen tonight?"

[Shamus]

As security floods the ring, a huge wild looking figure moves in their midst. He looks around, raking a hand through his hair before he shoves past them with his shillelagh before he grabs a mic from the announcer.

He glances around, taking in Kid Kaos and Jordan kicking around poor Mikkey before he shrugs.

" 'Ey, now we all know that I should be da bloody TV Champion! An' iffen it were nae for dat fookin' Joel Frost I would be, so I want ye all to know that I plan on a settin' things right!"

The fans cheer, and Kaos struggles against security as they try to drag him from the ring as Mikkey slowly omes to his feet with a hand to his jaw while Max Jewel tries to check on him.

Shamus again shrugs, pointing his club at Mikkey and Jewel.

"Ye two better watch yer backs, because I dunno care who is TV Champion until fookin' Sydney! I only know dat I will be TV Champion after fookin' Sydney!"

Shamus then looks towards Kaos, shaking his head.

"Lad, I dunno bloody fookin' care where ye 'rassled afore! And I dunno care who yer fookin' friends wit'! All I know is dat iffen ye take dat TV Title, I will take it off of ye! Because Shamus doesnae take no for an answer!"

The fans roared, and Shamus nodded before he rubbed at his beard with a nod to the security before he grabbed a cup of beer from one of the fans to sip at it.

Then he sprayed it, dousing the security guards and part of the ring. Shamus turned to the fan, frowning as he threw the cup away.

" Fookin' Christ, man! Dat was a bloody light beer, are ye a fookin' woman fer da love of God?"

[Frost]

As the Chaos in the ring is being broken up "Cold" by Static X hits drawing the attention of the men in the ring to the top of the ramp as they await the arival of the former CWA British champion. Frost steps out from behind the curtain with a cocky smirk weilding a microphone in his right hand. Joel saunters down to the ring stopping just outside the mass of security gaurds that were dispatched to break up the fight.

Ventura: Is there anyone else left in the lockerroom who has anything else to say or is the entire thing out here in the ring now?

Ventura says sarcastically with a bit of annoyance in hit voice.

Cross: What are you talking about? He is in this match and has a right to be down here.

Frost- Hold up there son. I like where your going with this but if anyones going to get to kick the shit out of that homosexual mamas boy up there its gonna be me!

Joel pauses as Kaos shouts profanities at Frost who takes it all with a bit of a chuckle.

Frost- No need to be like that. Ive brought plenty of ass kickings for everyone. no need to worry you will get yours to.

Ventura: Big words from a man who hasnt had a worth while match since the CWA.

Cross: That doesnt mean anything. He was one of the up and comming stars back then and it doesnt seem like he has lost a step. If anything he seems to have improved since then.

Joel turns to face Shamus not giving Kaos a chance to retaliate.

Frost- And as far as you go big man. I know that your more than a little pissed off because of that little chair incident and who can blame you? I mean really if i had a loss on my record to someone as pathetic as Mikkey with two k's then i would have probably fallen into a drinking binge to rival your own.


Joel waits for the crowds cheers to die down before continueing.

Frost- But you know as well as everyone else out here that that little chair shot of mine was not intended for that thick skull of yours.

Ventura: Is that anyway to talk to a man you just cost the TV title? This Kid needs to show a little respect.

Cross: He was trying to help him you idiot.

Frost- So if your still mad then we can settle things in Sydney but until then dont bother. All im focused on is redeeming that meaninless title drapped around pissants waist and once again taking my place at the top of my division!

Ventura: If you ask me he has about as much of a chance as that beer swilling retard over there.

Cross: Didnt you just say that Joel needed to show him a little respect?

Ventura: What?! I wasnt the one who hit him with a chair.

Cross looks at ventura for a moment at a loss for words then turns his attention back to Frost.

Joel shoots a smirk at Mikkey and motions to his waist profitizing his future victory.

Cross: Well if you were to ask me i would have to say that Mikkey may be in for some trouble real soon. Because what i see out there is three men who are not going to stop for anything until that title is theirs.

"Cold" hits once more and Joel makes his way back up the ramp still playing to the cheering crowd.