Team USCW rides again

[Anthony Jordan]

*The scene opens up in Team USCW's locker room. "The Role Model" sits on the couch typing something into his cell phone as Kid Kaos walks in the door.*

Kaos: "Yo, AJ!"

*Without looking up, Jordan replies.*

Jordan: "Thought you were dead."

Kaos: "If boredom could kill, you might be right."

Jordan: "USCW-ger, you got a British Title match in one week! You need to be getting ready!"

Kaos: "I feed off your energy, man."

*Jordan looks at Kaos long enough to roll his eyes and returns to typing.*

Jordan: "Oh yes, when Anthony does not do anything, the rest of the world goes quiet, too. I know I am awesome and all that, but everyone needs to stop being so dependent on me. I make the base salary in this place. That is not enough for me to be the life force."

Kaos: "Poor you."

*Kaos swoops in a snatches Jordan's phone away and reads what he was typing. While laughing, he recites it.*

Kaos: "Not much, sweets. We should get together later. I think we would have a lot of fun. Dude, not this with Amanda."

*Jordan stands up and snatches his phone back.*

Jordan: "Dang it, Eric, quit...how do you say it?"

*Jordan pauses for a second before snapping his fingers.*

Jordan: "Quit wiener-blocking your home negro!"

*Kaos seems torn between laughing at Jordan's lameness and being outright confused.*

Kaos: "I think you mean cock-blocking."

Jordan: "You are just making words up now."

*Kaos shakes his head.*

Kaos: "I ain't blocking you even though I think that's impossible because you actually need some history in getting it wet, if you know what I mean."

*Of course, Jordan really doesn't know what it means as Kaos points at his crotch.*

Jordan: "I have excellent bladder control. I have not been 'wet' since I was a child!"

*Kaos just lets it go because explaining things would take too much time.*

Jordan: "And do not get jealous of me just because you have not rapped any fine...boo-tayyyyyy since high school."

Kaos: "That's tapped hot ass, you dolt!"

Jordan: "My point is valid. You have avoided hot chicks since that boiler."

*Kaos looks around angrily before leaning in.*

Kaos: "That's a burner, asshole, and you swore never to speak of that!"

Jordan: "Just saying."

*"The Role Model" types on his phone some more before putting it back on the table, presumably finishing his text message.*

Kaos: "At least I have success with the ladies. You don't even know how to talk to girls and when one actually does talk to you, you think she's in love with you!"

Jordan: "That is Mark, not me. Do not lump me in with him!"

*They both laugh at the inside joke.*

Kaos: "Anyway, we're still wrestlers, right? We do have a match this Monday, so maybe you need to focus less on her and more on business."

*Before Jordan can reply, "Roxanne" by the Police is heard from his phone.*

Jordan: "Oooooooooo, somebody loves the AJ!"

*Kaos looks confused.*

Kaos: "Since when have you called yourself that?"

Jordan: "Amanda calls me it. She is the only person to do it, and I kind of like it."

Kaos: "You're kidding, right? Everyone calls you 'AJ.'"

Jordan: "I think you are mistaken."

Kaos: "And what's with giving her 'Roxanne?'"

Jordan: "I like that song."

Kaos: "I do, too, but you're calling her a whore."

Jordan: "Say what?"

Kaos: "'Roxanne' is about a whore Sting falls in love with."

Jordan: "Man, poor fellow hit hard times after WCW closed."

Kaos: "Different Sting!"

Jordan: "Maybe I should change the ringtone."

*Jordan stands up and puts the phone in his pocket as he walks to the door.*

Jordan: "Let us go for a walk."

*Kaos shrugs and follows."

Jordan: "I glanced at the card once, but I think we have Revolution in the bag."

Kaos: "Agreed."

Jordan: "We should just focus on International Incident."

*A crew member walks by and waves at Team USCW.*

Crew Member: "Hey, AJ."

Jordan: "Yo."

*They continue about their business.*

Kaos: "Told ya."

Jordan: "Told me what?"

Kaos: "He called you 'AJ.'"

*Jordan scratches his chin before shaking his head.*

Jordan: "Nope, did not hear it."

Kaos: "I'm hiring a damn stenographer."

Jordan: "Go right ahead. Anyway, you have a tough match with Mikkey, Frost, and Shamus. Frost might be your stiffest competition. We were in Draven Incorporated together. He is another high-fliyer."

Kaos: "Not too worried. You might want to worry about Seven."

Jordan: "I beat him a year and a half ago, so no worries."

Kaos: "'Cause apparently nothing changes in your universe."

*Jordan goes to retort until he looks in an open door to see Jake Seven seated at a table. Seven isn't moving a muscle and is just looking forward. Jordan taps Kaos on the chest and points at the spectacle.*

Kaos: "What the hell is wrong with him?"

*Another crew member is walking by. "The Role Model" notices him and pulls him over to the door.*

Crew member 2: "Hey, AJ. What's up?"

Jordan: "How long has Seven been there?"

Crew member 2: "He's been sitting there for two days."

*Jordan nods and sends the crew member on his way again.*

Jordan: "Deep in focus. He might be a worthy foe, yet."

Kaos: "I wonder what would happen if we threw a firecracker on him."

Jordan: "That would be interesting. Give Whitey a call."

Kaos: "I will. And that other guy called you 'AJ.'"

*Jordan laughs.*

Jordan: "You need to turn up the hearing aid, old man."

Kaos: "You're the one who just had a birthday."

Jordan: "And thanks for coming to my party!"

Kaos: "I didn't go to your party."

Jordan: "Exactly!"

[Jake Seven]

Jake Seven sits in the cafeteria staring into nothingness. He's been here for days on end. One day starts, the next begins. None of this means anything to Jake Seven. He hasn't eaten. He hasn't had a drink. He hasn't broken a sweat. Perhaps the reality of his upcoming match is setting in, and is frozen from shock of fear or probability of loss to Anthony Jordan. Perhaps the possibilities that if he beats him, he could be General Managers of of an upcoming Revolution show made him think of so many ways to make break the vile and unworthy, and reward the quality wrestlers he so adamantly aspires, to a boiling point that sent him into psychosis. For whatever reason brought him into this state is unknown, but for the time being the cameras are on him. For the time being, the world is watching.

And then he speaks for the first time in days. He releases his clinch on his fists.

[Jake Seven:] Maybe,..I should..change.

A dish drops from a workers hands, startled.

[Jake Seven:] Maybe, these fans don't need a hero. Maybe they..just want to be left,..alone? Maybe, it's me after all. Am I the way I am due to years of repressed anger over small things in life? I like ketchup on my hamburgers, not mustard. But sometimes, they are out of ketchup and I put mustard. This makes me mad. But I cope. Perhaps this leads to my inebriated desire for quality programming. Because the world can not be perfect, but I desire it to be. Maybe, if I change, everything will be okay. Maybe I can accept nothing can be perfect, or the way I want it.

Seven lowers his head.

[Jake Seven:] I think I'm too hard on myself sometimes. Always pushing myself to be better. Maybe if I am just myself, and relaxed, I could be better after all. I push myself too hard, me thinks. I just need to relax. Yeah. Relax. If I just,..relax..I can change. I am the eggman after all. I am the walrus too. Coo coo cah-choo...

Jake Seven stands up from his seat and casually walks out the door of the cafeteria. He walks down the hall and exits the arena. He gets in his car and drives away, without saying a word to anyone. Inside the car, he begins to talk again. His hair blows back from the cool night breeze.

[Jake Seven:] I think I'm too judging on others. I don't give myself enough chances to experience life. That's how I'll prepare for Anthony Jordan. I'll live MY life. I won't tell him how to live his. And I'll start by smoking this cigarette I found in the trash. Yeah, that's what I'll do to start living my life. After all that's cool. Or so I was told growing up. Let me just..

Seven raises the rolled tobacco in his hands. Half of it is already smoked. He looks at it, while he holds onto the steering wheel with one hand.

[Jake Seven:] I was lucky enough to be The Ringmasters official emergency sprinkler checker, so I already have this handy lighter in my pocket for just a chance like this. I'm going to smoke it. I will. After all it's legal. No one can tell me I can't. No one can judge me because I'm not pushing my beliefs on anyone else. I'm doing this because I'm a man who makes his own choices. Yeah that's right, I'm a man. Anyone have a problem with that?

Seven takes his hand off the wheel for a moment (As this is the normal way to light a cig while driving, any way else would require responsibility.) He flicks the lighter with his thumb, as a flash of flame spurts enough, but does not light the cancer stick.

[Jake Seven:] Dangit! Almost had it.

His hands have been off the wheel several seconds now, luckily without any problems. He tried to light it again, but the breeze of the open window dulls down the flame before it can ignite. He looks frustrated.

[Jake Seven:] This is harder than it looks. I give these smokers credit for trying this hard. Practice pays off though, let me try again..

Bringing the cigarette to the lit flame, it burns away and Seven placed his hand back on the wheel, and cig in his mouth. Trying to talk, it drops from his mouth and into his lap! His reaction causes the car to swerve in the middle of the road, luckily with no on coming traffic in his way. Seven puts it back in his mouth, and inhales.

His eyes grow red, his cheeks pink with exasperation, his eyes begin to water, and after a few seconds with this look on his face, he releases the cloud of smoke from his mouth, practically choking.

[Jake Seven:] Weird I.. *cough*....I don't feel any cooler. I wonder if it takes a while to set in. Yeah, I'll just give it time. Hopefully I'll be cool soon. I'll just take another drag, soon enough I'll be cool. Soon enough, I'll be able to say I experienced that. And since it's legal, and I'm not dead, no one can judge me on it. Because I am a man. A grown man.

Seven takes a couple more hits before pulling into a local convenient stores parking lot. He gets out of the car, takes one last hit, and drops it to the ground putting it out with his boot in half circle grinds. That's how he saw a friend do it anyway.

Walking into the store, he looks around. Slushies are .79 pounds. But he's not looking for that kind of rush. The Sin City Superstar walks down the bread and grain aisle, looking for the clerk. No where to be seen. He takes a small bag of chips off the shelf and tears them open and starts shoveling them down his throat as fast as he can muster to breath in between mouthfuls. Still no clerk.

He finishes the chips, and aims his attention for a candy bar near the front desk. He unravels it in his hands, and it melts faster in his hand than his mouth as his fingers are covered in chocolate. No clerk, and no security camera. What kind of store is this?

He raises his attention to a handwritten sign near the register. "If you're going to shop lift, let us know". Seven looks at the celephane wrapper in his hand, and back to the sign.

[Jake Seven:] I haven't eaten in two days. I am starving. There's no one here. Is this really illegal? I can not pay for them. My intention was to shop lift, so I can know how it feels to be a criminal at large. Maybe I'd even get questioned by the police. That'd be fun. I'm sure it's never happened to Anthony Jordan. This is what General Managers need, they need life experience. I hope The Ringmaster is paying close attention to everything I am doing. I am holding my own against the grains of society. I am almost ready to return to the IWF a better man, a grown man, an established man. I am Jake Seven. A changed man!

Just then, the clerk walks from the back storage room with a mop in hand. He looks at Seven, and the empty wrapper in his hand. They exchange a look. Seven lowers his head as fear sets in. The clerk goes to talk, but it caught off guard as Seven throws a bag of chips at him and runs out the door and turns a corner behind the store, trying to evade federal prosecution.

At three in the morning, not many people are on the streets. Except for two young gentlemen behind this store. Odd one must say, but they were there nonetheless. Startled, Seven is short for words. They don't say anything right away. They seem...calm and uncaring.

"...Duuude. Do you want a diiime?"

Jake Seven has plenty of money. He's a IWF superstar.

"Hey man, do you want some blaze or what? Trees? Grass? Weed? Herb? Pot?

[Jake Seven:] Before you change the world, you have to change yourself to the change you want to see.

"What dude? I thought you came here so get some stuff. What are you, some kind of cop?"

[Jake Seven:] I don't have much money. I'm not sure if I should. What are the benefits? Will I be cool? I tried cigarettes, and it didn't make me feel any more cool then I already am..

"Yeah man, cool. Whatever, you'll fucking trip with cool. You got the money or what kid?"

[Jake Seven:] Isn't pot illegal?

"No. Don't you see our ad in the White Pages? Yes you dumb fucking bloke. It's bloody illegal. Now shut up before someone sees us!"

[Jake Seven:] Sure. I guess. Give me some. Just..a little though. I've never smoked pot before. I'm not sure wh--

"That'll be forty-five."

Jake Seven shuffles through his pockets and pulls out a handful ose loose bills, looking over his shoulder at every passing car. The paranoia now sets in. What if the next one was a routine police officer? Would he pull him over on suspicion? Would he get arrested? Would it be a fun, learning experience in his life? He snaps out of the funk, as the drug dealer hangs Jake Seven two blunts in a plastic baggy in the shadows, and then walks away from The Sin City Superstar quickly, with his friend at his heels.

He opens the bag, and takes one out. Seven examines it for a moment. The slender, white, blunt roll seemed so innocent. The marijuana inside wasn't taxable. It was grown in plantations across the globe. He just helped the economy a little bit by giving that boy some money to spend. Seven takes satisfaction in this fact. what's so bad about one, little, hit? One, innocent drag couldn't hurt anyone.

Flashbacks of his feud with Whitey Ford flood his mind. He was so condescending of the substance in his hand, and for what? It's only..a plant. It's not even addicting. Hardly a hallucinogen. Jake Seven did pass health class, and he was well educated on such things whether he wanted to accept it or not.

[Jake Seven:] Maybe, if I did this, more people will like me. I wonder if The Ringmaster smoked pot? Should I offer him some? We can sit back, toke it up, and live a little. The CEO and General Manager enjoying a nice bong hit. What kind of bong would The Ringmaster like? A tall one? A wide one? A transparent one? Maybe he could get him one of those nifty Grateful Dead ones. They're collectors ideas too. Not a bad idea to bribe the boss, eh? We could even call up Whitey Ford and smoke some of his stash.

Jake Seven lifts the roll to his lips, dragging the flame along the paper until it started to burn bright in the night air. He takes a small puff, letting the taste of the weed to his tongue, to the back of his throat, and back out through his nose. Again, he inhales, this time taking a longer toke. He slowly lets it out, and started to smile. After another he's almost oblivious to the surrounding world.

[Jake Seven:] Yo, this is fucking cool. But I should head back. I have a long day ahead of me. Hehe..long day. I don't feel like doing anything honestly. Am I baked yet? That was relaxing. If this is the change I needed, it was well worth it because I feel alive. I feel free. This was definitely well deserved. And now I suddenly have the biggest craving for Mountain Dew and Cheetos. What the fuck man..

Jake Seven extinguishes the remaining blunt, and tucks it away for later turning his attention back to the convenient store. He walks in, the bell rings and makes him jump ten feet. The clerk is behind the desk this time.

[Jake Seven:] Hey you. Yeah, you man. You like, gotta get that bell fixed. It makes too much noise. Anyways. Cheetos. Got any?

"Didn't you just steal some food not even a half an hour ago, guy?"

[Jake Seven:] Yeah, but I got the serious munchies man. Like hardcore. Help a brother out. Where are your goods?

"Are you..stoned?"

[Jake Seven:] Stoned, no. High, yes. Cool, yes. Check next to cool. You see that? Yeah, I'm cool mother fucker. Now, Cheetos or do I take my business else where?

"Alright man. They're just down there, down that aisle over there. Just make sure you pay for them this time, I don't want to get written up for you fucking stoner heads.

Jake Seven stares at the clerk for a few extra moments, before turning his body with the intent to break his stare, as his head turns seconds later in an awkward stone stare experience. You know what they are, they've happened to everyone while either stoned, or, while talking to a stoner.

Jake Seven gets the Cheetos, a Mountain Dew, and one of those plastic thumb creatures from a stand next to the register and pays for them. He stares at the clerk.

[Jake Seven:] Yeah. That's right. I'm fucking cool. These better be the best god damn Cheetos I've ever had, or I'm coming back here and demanding to talk to your boss. You got it? I'll come right back believe you me.

With that said, Seven walks out of the store and back out to his car.

===

The scene changes, and he's sitting back in the cafeteria frozen eyed, staring into space. Anthony Jordan and Kid Kaos are near him asking how long he's been like this.

"He's been sitting there for two days."

The USCWgers walk away, leaving Jake Seven to his peace. After everyone is cleared away, Jake Seven snaps out of it, and smiles. He turns around, and looks to see if anyone is around before pulling out a large blunt roll from inside his jacket pocket and lighting it up in the middle of the cafeteria. His eyes squint, His lips curl, and he nods his head.

[Jake Seven:] Nothing is wrong with me Anthony. I was on a fucking trip. Have some of this shit man, it'll make you stare for a long time too...Hahh.

With that, Seven takes another hit and the scene draws back out the cafe door and away from Jake Seven's actions...[/color]

[Kid Kaos]

Team USCW continues its walk through the arena. Kid Kaos shakes his head as he looks at Jordan

Kaos: "Dude what the fuck is wrong with Seven back there? You think I fucked with his mind to much or something?"

Jordan: "Well it is probably a complex issue stemming from childhood issues. Maybe his mom didn't hug him enough. I know my mom hugged me enough and I am ok."

Kaos smacks himself in the forehead as he turns to glare at Jordan.

Kaos: "That is without a doubt one of the GAYEST things you have ever said... seriously stop saying shit like that!"

A goofy grin crosses "The Role Model's" face as his phone begins to play "Roxanne." Before Jordan can grab his phone, Kaos snatches it away.

Kaos: "You can talk to your "sweets" later AJ. We need to focus on that matches coming up. So at the ppv I get to deal with the three retards. Well let me say my peace on this. First off all Mikkey is going to be to damn hyped up thinking about the butt sex he had with Max Jewel to be of any threat to me. I am not the least bit worried about Mikkey. He stands no chance against me.

Jordan snatches his phone back with a frown. He shakes his head at Kaos

Jordan: "First, don't ever take my phone from me when my "sweets" calls. Second, you might want to keep an eye on Mikkey he has a lot more talent than you give him credit."

Kaos: "The closest thing Mikkey probably has to talent is deep throating some guys cock. Speaking of deep throating you should have seen this girl I was with last night... lets just say she didn't find it hard to swallow."

Kaos grins at Jordan but Jordan only frowns back

Jordan: "Well if she is having problems swallowing she may want to go see a doctor. Sounds like it could be an allergic reaction. She may have an allergy to nuts... did she eat any last night?"

Kaos chokes off a laugh as he grins at AJ

Kaos: "Oh yea I'm pretty sure she had some "nuts" last night but don't worry bout it she will be okay."

Jordan: "Well it's good that she is okay. Anyways lets focus back on your match. You may just dismiss Mikkey but you still have to deal with Frost and Shamus."

Kaos shakes his head as he continues to grin.

Kaos: "Well now I really don't have a major issue with Samus over there. Wait isn't Samus the name of the chick from Metroid... why does he have a fucking womans name? Weird ass fucking Scots."

Jordan opens his mouth to correct Kaos but the high flyer just keeps on talking.

Kaos: "Anyways I will deal with Samus when he gets in the ring. I mean my God his finisher is a fucking... excuse me, let me say it right. A fookin' 'eadbutt."

Jordan: "That is without a doubt the worse accent I have ever heard Eric. It is not nearly as good as my Sean Connery impression."

Before Jordan can start his Connery impression, Kaos raises a hand to stop him

Kaos: "I know AJ, I was just trying to make sure that the drunk bastard could understand me. I want him to know that his precious head butt is the most retarded finishing move ever, right up there with the Leg Drop of Doom from the Hulkster."

Jordan: "Look, the Leg Drop really works, but only when Hogan does it. He just has the uncanny ability to put extra force behind it."

Kaos rolls his eyes at the absurdity of Jordan's statment

Kaos: "Sure AJ, whatever you say. Anyways moving on to Frost. So he can high fly to... big fucking whoop. Everyone thinks they can high fly, everyone think they can hang in the air with Kid Kaos. Well i hate to break it to you Frosty but you aren't worthy of lacing my boots."

Jordan: "Maybe we should go review some tapes of Frost's matches. You should really stop dismissing the talent of your opponents. Remember Ripper?

Kaos: "Yea, I kicked ass and took his title away. He didn't have any talent either. Anyway "Iceman" I will see you in the ring and I will deliver your ass whooping to you personally. By the way Aj, you ever heard the phrase "The Iceman Cometh."

Jordan nods as a smirk crosses Kid Kaos' face

Kaos: "Let's just say that from what I have heard, the only way the "Iceman Cometh" is by his own hand."

Jordan: "A masturbation joke about Frost? Immature Eric, immature!"

Team USCW continues walking as the camera stops following them and fades to commercial.